Last Updated on April 25, 2025

When we set out to change a particular habit, we often start with a “to-do” list: drink more water, get eight hours of sleep, read every book on our list, write in a journal religiously. You know, the classics. But what if the real momentum comes from what you don’t do?

That’s where the “to-don’t” list comes in. This list might seem a little pessimistic, but it’s actually a surprisingly potent tool that can help you ID and remove friction points from your daily life. It can help you get closer to your goals—and a more fulfilled version of yourself.

If you’re looking for a realistic, empowering way to figure out how to drink less, it’s not just about adding more and more healthy habits. It’s also helpful to remove the obstacles that trip you up. That way, the new habits will have somewhere to flourish!

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What Is a To-Don’t List?

A “to-don’t” list is a short list of people, places, routines, or situations that make it harder to stick to your mindful drinking goals. Unlike strict rules or permanent restrictions, a to-don’t list is flexible. It’s simply a way to give yourself some breathing room while you build new habits.

Here’s why this works: your brain forms associations between certain cues and behaviors. That Friday night trip to the store, that one friend who always wants “just one,” or even the bar you pass on your drive home—these can all activate old habit loops before you even realize it.

Interrupting these patterns, even temporarily, gives your brain space to start working on new patterns. It’s not about cutting things out forever—it’s about making way for your brain to strengthen your shiny new routines.

Your Very Own To-Don’t List

This process is simple, but surprisingly effective. Ask yourself:

• Who or what tends to make it harder for me to stick to my goals?
  
• Is there a situation I keep putting myself in where I later think, “Why did I do that again?”
  

Common examples people put on their to-don’t lists include:

• Meeting a particular friend for “just one drink” that always turns into four.
  
• Visiting a favorite bar or restaurant that’s tied to heavy drinking habits.
  
• Stopping at a liquor store on the way home.
  
• Ending the workweek with a trip to the alcohol aisle out of routine.
  

You don’t need to eliminate these forever. Just pause them for now while you lay the groundwork for change.

Replace the Old with Something New

Once you’ve made your to-don’t list, the next step is to gently swap those patterns for new ones that serve your goals.

Let’s say Friday night used to mean picking up wine and unwinding at home. What could that become instead? An evening trip to the climbing gym, cooking an elaborate and delicious meal, a Saturday morning plan you’re excited about—the goal here is to upgrade your routine in a way that still sparks joy and relaxation, but without the regret (or, crucially, the hangover) the next morning.

This kind of mindful tradeoff is a cornerstone of learning how to drink less without relying on willpower alone.

Understanding the Science Behind The List

Our brains are wired to conserve energy. Once a habit gets established, it’s often triggered by environmental cues: people, places, and routines. This is part of what’s called the habit loop: cue → routine → reward.

By removing a particular cue—for example, avoiding the liquor store or skipping that weekly bar hangout—you disrupt the loop and give your brain a chance to build fresh, new pathways. And over time, those new patterns will feel more natural, and the old triggers will lose their pull.

The word “don’t” might feel restrictive, but this mindset shift is about caring for yourself and protecting your energy, time, and goals. That’s important stuff!

Visualize Where You’re Headed

Fast-forward six months. You’re in the same environment, with the same people, but now you feel in control. You’re enjoying yourself without needing alcohol to enhance the experience. That’s the long-term payoff of experimenting with small changes now.

So here’s your challenge: Make a simple to-don’t list today. It doesn’t need to be dramatic. Two or three small tweaks can make a big difference. Pair it with positive to-dos like exercise, social plans, or relaxation rituals—and you’ll start seeing the path forward more clearly.

Learning how to drink less isn’t about perfection or permanent restriction. It’s about building habits that make the choices you want to make feel easier—and even enjoyable. And when you remove a few key speed bumps, everything else starts to flow.

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