Last Updated on July 21, 2023

A typical weekend might be meeting up with friends at a restaurant or bar and having a drink or three. Maybe you think there isn’t much else to do and that’s the only way to keep your social life (although a bit of investigative work might have you surprised at the number of alcohol-free activities you could do). 

And if friends aren’t up for new alcohol-free activities, it’s up to you to express your decision to drink more mindfully and set healthy boundaries. So if you feel like there’s no way to keep your social life while drinking less — we’ve got good news for you. 

In this article, we’ll go over some phrases (that might be out of your comfort zone, which is not a bad thing) to help you stay on track. We’re here to guide you through those tricky social situations, including pressure from friends to drink more (because somehow that doesn’t seem to end, even as you get older). 

So read on to start practicing ways to express yourself clearly and assertively to make sure you maintain your mindful drinking mindset, without losing your friends. 

Why Do You Want to Drink Mindfully?

First, if you make the decision to be more mindful, remember that it’s a process that won’t always be comfortable or easy. 

You’ll have to set strong boundaries and stay true to yourself, even when surrounded by pressure and temptation to fall back into old habits of binge drinking. 

That means keeping a clear reminder in your head of why you’ve decided to drink more mindfully. For example, is it to work toward repairing a relationship with someone you love? What about dedicating more time to improving your career or financial situation? Or maybe it’s because your physical or mental health is suffering. 

Whatever it is, keep your “why” at the top of your mind. Make a mental image and mantra about it — something your brain can see and hear when you’re in a challenging situation. That could also be a photo in your wallet or on your phone screen as a visual reminder. 

Finally, working on self-compassion is going to help give you strength and make it easier for you to forgive yourself and move on if you don’t always stick to your goals. That’s one of the biggest keys to becoming more mindful — talking to yourself in a more compassionate way. 

For example, acknowledge your efforts, no matter how small, and speak gently and patiently with yourself as you would a child. It might feel awkward at first, especially if you’re used to criticizing yourself constantly, but a few gentle words here and there might turn into gentle conversations with yourself (which is much beating yourself up whenever something doesn’t go as hoped, making it even harder to move forward). 

With that in mind, it’s time to start preparing yourself for any obstacles that come your way — including friends. 

20 Mindful Phrases for Friends

See which of these phrases you’re comfortable trying and edit them to make them your own. Practice saying them at home before you try them on friends — trust us, this helps. Even if it feels weird, you gotta let your brain know you’re serious and prepared! 

Phrases to Let Friends Know You’re Drinking Mindfully

1. “No thanks, I don’t need another drink. I’m happy just hanging out.” 

2. “I want to start focusing on quality over quantity and just enjoy each drink more.“

3. “I’m tired of being hungover, it’s time to listen to my body and drink less.”

4. “I’m trying to drink more responsibly, so I’m only having one glass (or none).”

5. “I’m curious about trying some new non-alcoholic drinks, I’ve heard they’re great and they’d really help me drink less.”

6. “I’m listening to my body today, so I’ll only drink the amount I think I can handle well.”

7. “I decided to challenge myself to drink more mindfully, and I’m going to stick to that and try to enjoy each drink more.”

8. “I realized I enjoy spending time with friends more when I’m sober and present.”

9. “I’m working on drinking more mindfully, I want to savor this drink and take it slow.”

10. “I’ve noticed just one or two drinks is what works best for me, so that’s it for me today.”

Phrases to Manage Peer Pressure

Let’s say your friends aren’t getting the message and they keep pressuring you to drink. First, remember that has more to do with them and not you. Many people feel threatened when someone else makes healthier changes because it triggers guilt and shame that they aren’t doing the same — so keep that in mind. But remember, you are not responsible for anybody else’s emotions, this is the time to put yourself first. 

So here are some phrases you can tinker with: 

1. “Please stop pressuring me to drink, I’m happy with the amount I have.”

2. “I know you enjoy drinking and want me to join you, but I need you to understand and accept 3. I’ve chosen not to.” 

4. “It would help me out a lot if you made this easier on me by not pressuring me, so please support me on this.” 

5. “I understand you want me to drink with you, but that’s not what I need right now.”

6. “When you pressure me to drink after I’ve told you I don’t want to, it makes me feel like you don’t support or respect me.”

7. “I’ve set my stance and boundaries on alcohol, and it’s important to me that you honor my decision. If you can’t, maybe our friendship isn’t what I thought it was.” 

8. “Why can’t we just enjoy each other’s company without alcohol?” 

9. “I appreciate our friendship, but you pressuring me to drink is creating a strain. I need you to respect me and stop. Otherwise, our relationship won’t work.”

10. “My well-being is my priority, so I’m not going to give in to any pressure to drink. Please respect my boundaries, as I would respect yours.” 

11. “If you can’t respect my decision, I’m going to have to leave.”

Some of these might come off as more assertive than you’re used to. But, that’s ok! If you’re serious about standing up for yourself and changing your habits, sometimes you have to be assertive to get what you want. 

Try whatever you feel comfortable with to start, if that’s less assertive and it works, that’s great. But if it doesn’t work, practice saying more assertive phrases with yourself or a close friend to gain confidence. 

Create a Supportive Community

If you want to drink more mindfully, setting boundaries and preparing yourself for challenging situations is going to help. Ideally, your friends will be supportive and even encourage your decision. If not, that’s ok. You can find support in other ways. 

Joining an online community like Sunnyside can be an easy first step. You’ll be able to talk with people going through the exact same thing. Plus, access to coaches you can work with one on one for added support. Taking a challenge like Dry January can help you get a reset you need as well. 

There’s also the option to sign up for some in-person support groups in your town, or professional therapy to dive in deeper to your coping methods. You can also think about trying new hobbies where you’ll meet people who might not drink much, such as dance, art, or pottery classes, or group activities like hiking and nature clubs. 

If you want to start now, take the 3-minute quiz with Sunnyside and create a personalized goal that works just for you. It’s also a pressure-free way to track your drinks, no judgment attached. Whatever you feel ready for, you can find a community that wants to help get you there. Remember, you’re not alone. With time, compassion, and patience, millions of people have learned how to manage their drinking habits, and you can, too.